Archive for the ‘ Wedding WTF ’ Category

I realized that, despite my best intentions, I’ve not updated this blog since JANUARY. Shameful, yes. But life happens. That isn’t to say I’ve abandoned my most favourite of pre-wedding distractions (because having them are CRUCIAL to avoid going into bridal meltdown!) I’ve simply gotten wrapped up in life. What’s the John Lennon lyric? Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans… truer words, my friends. Truer words.
In the meantime – check out this fab article posted on about the various vultures cashing in – or, at least trying to – on the upcoming Royal Nuptials.
Commemorative Coins, Paper Dolls & China are pretty much par for the course. But a palace-sanctioned Royal App for your iPhone or Android? That’s right – starting April 18, for the mere price of £1.79 – you can add this app to your phone and enjoy “the tradition, splendour and romance of the seven royal weddings,” including “images of wedding dresses and jewellery, gifts exchanged between bride and groom, presents from family and friends, wedding cakes and flowers.”
My personal favourite, though, has to be the Crown Jewels Condoms of Distinction.

Doesn’t it just scream ‘class’? And the best part? The following disclaimer:

“Crown Jewels Royal Wedding Souvenir Condoms are not supplied to, or approved by, Prince William of Wales, Catherine Middleton or any member of the Royal Family. Crown Jewels Royal Wedding Souvenir Condoms are a novelty condom not suitable for contraception or protection against STDs.”
I, for one, love watching weddings of this scale on TV… the hats ALONE make it worth tuning in. Will you be watching?

April 13th, 2011 Finding Fabulous, Wedding WTF | No Comments

Well, it’s official: Reality television IS where souls (and brain cells) go to die. E! has leaked word of their latest in a long line of painful examples of the worst humanity has to offer: Bridalplasty.
For the few North American women *not* filled with self-loathing and insecurity, this show seems hell-bent on having you join the fray.
In this newest bit of creative brilliance, brides-to-be are pitted against each other to compete in wedding-themed (I’m guessing cake decorating, dress designing & the writing of wedding vows that will, no doubt, cause angels to weep) challenges.
And the grand prize these mentally stable ladies will be competing for? Plastic surgery. For real. Actually, the wording in the press release is “extensive surgical procedures.” WTF! And I thought paying someone else to do my makeup for me (I didn’t, for the record) was a bit excessive.
From the limited information I’ve read, it sounds like Bridalplasty is set to be a cross between Bulging Brides, Survivor & The Swan (remember that abhorrent bit of Must-See TV?), wherein one woman gets booted out of the house (which I can only assume will be wired to the rafters with cameras so as to capture each and every second of bitchy melodrama & catty smackdowns) each week, while another wins one cosmetic surgery procedure of her choosing. And then the last bride standing not only gets her “dream wedding,” but she also wins her entire “wish list” of plastic surgery. And just to make it extra special, her big reveal comes… as she walks down the aisle. Are you effin’ KIDDING me?! She goes under the knife for her “extensive surgical procedure” and THEN her groom-to-be bears witness to the results as she’s walking down the aisle. Will the show also provide her with a name tag so he’s sure to recognize her?
I guess we shouldn’t be too terribly surprised. These are the same great minds responsible for VH1’s The Surreal Life and Rock of Love.
Oy vey.

September 21st, 2010 Wedding WTF | No Comments

With only 95 days until LX & I tie the proverbial knot, the Merry Month of May seems to have slipped away with very little in the way of updating my little corner of the blogosphere. I’ve somehow managed to accumulate about 2 dozen partially completed projects (half-written blog posts, a couple of stagnating creative writing attempts, several poems that have failed to launch and a number of photographs still sitting on memory cards) and no time to finish them. Okay, that’s not entirely true… there’s always time. It’s a matter of prioritizing how you fill said time.

This past month has involved a LOT of wedding-y type things. But I’m happy to say that all the designing, second-guessing, redesigning, writing, fretting, and re-writing has come to an end and our invitations have all been printed and mailed. Le PHEW! As well, quite a few of the DIY details have been taken care of and, I do believe, I’ve freed up a huge block of personal creative time for myself.
I, for one, am WELL pleased with this.

May 25th, 2010 The Confessional, Wedding WTF | No Comments